As doulas we constantly pride ourselves in holding space for the birthing persons during labour, childbirth and even postpartum.
But what is holding space and how do we do it?!
As Heather Plett says it : “It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person’s journey without judging them.
Without making them feel inadequate.
Without trying to fix them or trying to impact the outcome.
When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control…”
Holding space is about physically being in the space for our clients as we are supporting them as their doulas.
Because sometimes during labour we do our best in making suggestions in bringing labour along with different birthing positions or comfort measures to bear the pain but it also happens that all we need to do for our clients is just being present.
Listen, letting them play their role and support them with our undivided attention while letting go of any kind of judgment.
I personally noticed that todays society is a lot of judgement going around, like mother’s bashing other mom’s in their social media groups (so much more common in than in the past),
or the older generations (like grandmothers or our own mothers) telling a new mother’s how they should or should not be caring for their infants,
and even scaring pregnant people with their labour&delivery horror stories of their own.
Instead I would like to encourage you that we should be holding space for those most vulnerable in our society new mothers. Today I am giving you some homework from my little blog:
I want you to create a peaceful and safe environment for someone that you care for. Try to hold space for someone that you know is in a vulnerable position!
Just be in their space.
Let go of judgement.
Open your heart.
Allow yourself to emphasize in their experience and give them your full undivided attention ( for example: put your phones away and don’t let yourself get distracted!)
Lots of love from your Doula, Denise